Happiness Isn't Brain Surgery
Happiness Isn't Brain Surgery
56 -Addressing FEAR and Increasing Motivation to Achieve Your Goals

Increasing Motivation and Addressing Fears
Doc Snipes.com
Recorded for the Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery Podcast

~ Your rich and meaningful life
~ Emotionally
~ Mentally
~ Physically
~ Socially
~ Spiritually
~ Occupationally
~ Environmentally
~ What things, people, activities and values contribute to helping you achieve that rich and meaningful life?

~ F = Fusion (stuff your mind tells you that gets in the way when you get caught up in it)
~ E = Excessive goals (your goal is too big, or you lack the skills, or you lack the resources)
~ A = Avoidance of discomfort (unwillingness to make room for the discomfort this challenge brings)
~ R = Remoteness from values (losing touch with – or forgetting – what is important or meaningful about this)

~ F = Fusion
~ Getting stuck on thoughts “I am/I must” vs. “I am having the thought that…”
~ I must have a cigarette
~ I will never be good enough
~ This is terrifying
~ Getting stuck in feeling-based thoughts
~ Look for the facts for and against your thought
~ Listening to the inner critic
~ Learn from your past mistakes, but don’t let your IC hold you prisoner with them
~ Talk back to your IC
~ Ask yourself if you would say the things your IC says to you to your child

~ E = Excessive goals
~ Rome wasn’t built in a day
~ Break goals down into smaller parts
~ I want to start a new career
~ Decide on a career
~ Choose and enroll in a school
~ Complete the degree (one course at a time)
~ Begin applying for the job
~ Only do one to 3 goals at a time
~ Ensure each action plan identifies and develops the skills and resources you need
~ A = Avoidance of discomfort
~ Rejection
~ What does rejection really mean?
~ Is it realistic to expect to never be rejected?
~ Failure
~ What does failure really mean?
~ How can you turn failure into something positive?
~ The Unknown
~ Why is the unknown scary in this situation?
~ How have you handled the unknown before?
~ How can you make it a little less unknown?
~ Loss of Control
~ What about this situation makes you fear loss of control?
~ What parts do you have control over?

~ R = Remoteness from values
~ Ask yourself:
~ Why do I care about doing this?
~ How does this help me life a values-driven life?
~ “In what ways does this help me move toward my idea of a rich and meaningful life?”

Types of Motivation
~ Emotional: It makes me happy
~ Cognitive: It is the right and logical thing to do. I believe I can do it. It stimulates my curiosity.
~ Social: It makes others happy. It is what others say I should do. It helps me achieve my social goals.
~ Physical: It helps me feel my best and achieve my physical goals
~ Environmental: Triggers in the environment that keep you working toward a goal
~ Spiritual: It helps me live more in line with my values (authentically)
~ Occupational: It helps me achieve my power and/or financial goals

Increasing Motivation
~ Know your goal (AM SMART)
~ Appropriate: Know why your goal is necessary to helping you move toward a rich and meaningful life
~ Meaningful: This area of your life is truly important
~ Specific: Observable with step-wise progression
~ Measurable: Yes or No
~ Achievable: Is it something you can do alone? If not, what resources are needed?
~ Results-based: How does this help you move toward a RML
~ Time-limited: Accomplished in under 6 months. Each step is do-able in under 1 month (preferably a week)

Example 1
~ Characteristic of RML Occupational: Ability to work at a job I love (project management) with a flexible schedule and earn $50k+ per year so I can spend more time with family and be happier.
~ Goal 1: Become a Project Manager
~ Get a certification in project management
~ Research certifications and choose one within 2 weeks
~ Begin certification training in 2 weeks
~ Complete 1 unit per week until done
~ Study for 2 weeks for certification test
~ Register for certification test
~ Take and pass certification test
~ Update my resume and social networking profiles
~ Seek a mentor to work under for a year
~ Begin marketing myself by contacting at least 1 company in my field of expertise per week

~ Emotional RML Goal: To be a 3 or above on the happiness scale at least 90% of the time and have more energy and desire to engage in social activities and hobbies.
~ Identify and eliminate physiological vulnerabilities
~ Sleep
~ Review and identify 3 ways to improve sleep hygiene in the next week
~ Ensure I am getting at least 30 minutes of sunlight a day
~ Nutrition
~ Review and identify any nutritional deficiencies and develop a plan to address one per week
~ Hydration
~ Eliminate soda from my diet by reducing consumption in 25% increments over 6 weeks
~ Begin carrying a water bottle around with me
~ Bring in a gallon jug of water to keep in the fridge at work starting tomorrow
Example 2 cont…
~ Goal Emotional RML: To be a 3 or above on the happiness scale at least 90% of the time and have more energy and desire to engage in social activities and hobbies.
~ Identify and eliminate environmental vulnerabilities
~ Review my environment for stress or unhappiness triggers and eliminate those within 1 week
~ Add at least 3 happiness triggers (visual, auditory, olfactory) to each area of my environment (office, living area, car, bedroom, bathroom) over the next month
~ Beginning today, add a 15-minute happiness break to my days
~ Beginning next week, start keeping a happiness journal that I add to each evening.

Decisional Balance
~ What is it that I want/need to do
~ Enhance these
~ What are the benefits to doing it?
~ Emotional, mental, physical, social, occupational/financial
~ What are the drawbacks to doing it?
~ Emotional, mental, physical, social, occupational/financial
~ Minimize these
~ What are the benefits to NOT doing it or staying the same?
~ Emotional, mental, physical, social, occupational/financial
~ What are the drawbacks to NOT doing it or staying the same?
~ Emotional, mental, physical, social, occupational/financial

~ F = Fusion
~ E = Excessive goals
~ A = Avoidance of discomfort
~ R = Remoteness from values

~ Appropriate
~ Meaningful
~ Specific
~ Measurable
~ Achievable
~ Results Oriented
~ Time Limited

~ With a clear idea of what you want to do, why you want to do it and how to go about doing it, you are well on your way to starting to create your rich and meaningful life
~ To stay motivated
~ Identify and enhance how each task helps you feel happier, healthier, more socially fulfilled, and moves you toward your concept of a rich and meaningful life
~ Identify reasons why you may not want to change and how the current state keeps you from reaching a RML
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